Huge thanks to Milo for writing this piece for To Be Frank! Follow him on Instagram for more content! Milo's Instagram

When I joined the pole and aerial community, I had no idea how much it would become a part of my life. I was welcomed with open arms, and nobody cared what my body looked like or how I identified.

Kia ora! Ko Milo toku ingoa. I started my journey at my home studio in February 2021, but my journey as a trans man started long before that. I came out as a teenager in 2015, started my medical transition in 2017 (I recently had my 5-year T anniversary!), and only just had top surgery in January 2022. Through artful and aggressive movement, I learnt to express my emotions in a healthy way and love my body as it is. I finally gained confidence to wear shorts in public and go to the beach - even pre-surgery.

The beautiful thing about this community is nobody is excluded. There are some places in the world that only accept pole dance as a woman-only sport – but in more progressive places like here in Aotearoa New Zealand, all genders are sexualities are welcome. Since I began, I have become more comfortable expressing my femme side through dance, and understanding that societies expectations of how men should behave or what men should do, can get f***ed.

As for disabled people, mentally or physically, I want to emphasise again that it is a hobby for everyone. In my own experience, autistic people or those anywhere on the spectrum are more than capable of doing this as well. Everybody has a different learning style, and I personally believe it is up to the instructor to get to know their students personally - and cater their teaching style to suit those different learning styles, including those who may struggle with physical or mental, even emotional barriers. New to teaching myself, I try my best to educate myself on such matters so that everyone knows they are walking into a safe space to have a fun, challenging workout – no matter their ability.

Before it was a more mainstream idea, pole dance was usually associated with strippers and/or sex work. When the opportunity arises, I like to remind people that those strippers are the ones who made this an art form, and therefore have facilitated it to become more available to those who may be looking for a way to express their sexuality in a non-judgemental environment. Unfortunately, sometimes those who work in the industry are excluded from some aspects of the pole-community, which is why it’s so important to honour the history, and remind ourselves that sex workers are human too – after all, they are the ones who helped make pole dance what it is today.

So, in conclusion, if you are interested in pole dance, I strongly encourage you to contact a studio close to you – bring a support person if you want. When I first stepped inside my home studio, I was so anxious, unsure if I was welcome or if it was a space for me. I was proven wrong. If you are disabled and/or are part of the LGBTQ+ community, don’t let that alone stop you. Pole is for everybody.

Thank you for reading, and especially To Be Frank for creating this beautiful space for beautiful people. I’m so grateful to have this opportunity to share my experience. Aroha mai, aroha atu.

Milo on Pole Dancing and being a Trans Man in the Pole Community