Carolyn O’Neill - To Be Frank Manager & Facilitator
Kia Ora, I’m Carolyn (she/her),
I am a firm believer in equality and I am passionate about all people having the right to lead the life they choose.
I have worked in the disability sector for over 20 years, with 30 years’ experience in facilitating learning around assertiveness, communication, friendships, relationships, sexual health and sexuality.
To me, being able to be yourself and have the space to explore what that means for you is essential. Being your authentic self is sexy. And the journey to finding out who you truly are and what you truly desire in life has its share of ups and downs for everyone.
I believe everyone has the right to explore, make mistakes, have the space to heal in their own time and to have a fulfilling, passionate and diverse life, if that’s how they want to live – it’s up to them.
It seems that disabled people have a layer of other people around them who can either enable or inhibit their right to try things out, be their sexual selves, have a good time and make mistakes occasionally that they can learn from. Support people sometimes place themselves as the “friend” when actually, they need to see their job more as being like a personal assistant coordinating the fun stuff, but not necessarily attending it …and if they do, it’s from a distance, as social skills are learned.
In my early 20s, after finishing a BA majoring in Psychology and Education, I worked in the community for five years at the Auckland Women’s Centre from 1989 where I rewrote and delivered the training package for Womanline - an active listening, support and information service for women. Soon after this, I completed my Diploma in Secondary Teaching, majoring in Health.
During a five year stretch working for Family Planning as the Education Coordinator in the Bay of Plenty, I worked more and more with people of all ages with all types of learning and physical challenges in a range of settings - schools, marae and community organisations. I also facilitated professional development workshops for teachers, youth workers and worked collaboratively in a partnership model with tangata whenua providers.
I started working with Claire Ryan when I was employed by IHC/IDEA Services to train support people on the proviso I would continue to work in the areas of sexuality and relationships for the people supported there. In the 11 years I worked there, I created numerous Sexuality and Relationships workshops for support people and allies and co-delivered at every available opportunity with disabled people. I also co-developed the Relationships and Sexuality Policy for IDEA Services in the early 2000s.
I have presented at conferences including New York, with the YAI (Young Adult Institute) which is an agency that supports disabled people, and at a family focussed disability conference in Christchurch, where I co-delivered ‘Grab It’ with a couple I had been working with.
I am particularly interested in working alongside disabled people so they can deliver content they select themselves to the people they identify as needing to hear it. I also enjoy working alongside whānau and support people to encourage changes in attitude to sexuality and relationships for disabled people by finding solutions to perceived barriers and creating plans for actioning these.
The best outcome is that disabled people are supported to live a good life and have fulfilling relationships and truly express their sexuality.
I’m still based in the Bay of Plenty, and although I do love to travel, I also enjoy the simplicity and low environmental impact of Zoom, Teams or Facebook Messenger video calls. And a good old phone call can work fine though it's always great to be there in person!
Looking forward to working with you!